Current mood: awake
Category: hopeful Religion and Philosophy
wasnt really sure what category to put for this...life, religion, romance? all of the above? i had my moment of clarity regarding mike and a lot of other stuff in my life after an amazing moment at the pagan pride fest yesterday. some may think i sound like a kook but others will get where i am coming from and have perhaps experienced the same thing themselves.
there was this little girl running around her mom and either a friend of her moms or someone they met at the festival. seemed perfectly normal, happy energetic little girl waving around a tree sapling wand with a feather at the end which i am assuming she got at the kidwitch workshop yesterday.
perfectly normal that is until she suddenly slowed down and looked over her shoulder at me, just for a moment and the she smiled. i saw on her face...as hard as this may to believe...recognition. though i have no recollection of meeting her or her mother. then suddenly i felt the recognition too but could not put my finger on it. she turned away and continue circling faster and faster. i was getting juiced off the energy this child was giving off(she so reminded me of desmond when he isnt so clouded by all the negativity he has had to encounter lately.)
the circling increased in speed and i could just make out a colorful then white ring of light and warmth and it radiated in major waves. i could feel it in every fiber of my being. it filled up the dark chasm that has been my spirit as of late and completely washed it all away, leaving me with a sense of inner peace, and hope even...about my place in this world and my ability to take care of and help desmond get through his trying time. i was completely mesmerized by this little girl and finally i snapped out of it. i looked at mike and could see as plain as day he just wasnt in the same space as me. i knew he would never be the one. an epiphany perhaps? i looked back at the little girl happily running and skipping around her mom and the other woman appearing totally normal again and i heard her mom say that her liittle girl is very gifted and has an amazing spirit and energy. like what i felt? she ought to know being her mom.
i thought about the incident often last night at work.
it was truly amazing. i feel so much stronger and more capable. like i can take on anything that comes my way.
oddly enough a friend of mine who is dead on accurate with her tarot readings of me...even over the phone...suddenly felt compelled to do a complete reading on me. she said there was a lot of stuff floating around me and a lot of it was stuff i was letting go of. i tell ya id go to her before paying anyone who might be questionable. she is the real deal folks.
i also noticed i seem to be a lot more sensitive to the activity around me at the inn i work at. perhaps the epiphany was also a reawakening and a reminder to get back to sharpening my particular gifts. food for thought at any rate. looks like its time to hit the books, ask questions, do research and meditate on it and see where my path takes me. and i am guessing desmond is gonna want to tag along for the journey. we are so connected. not just genetically but spiritually and then some.
i cant wait to see him today. im guessing what i am feeling is going to rub off on him if it hasnt already. my mom says she saw him at her job yesterday late afternoon and he seemed to be a whole new desmond.
cooincidence?
anyone got any input? id love to hear it.
blessings,
ventura
Currently listening :
Tribal Winds: Music From Native American Flutes
By Various Artists
Release date: 16 January, 1996
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September 22, 2007 - Saturday
I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW...
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Life
mike is mr. right...now.
there, i said it. sweet as he is, he is not THE ONE. i can tell already. still he makes a nice companiion and maybe that is all i need for now. i will know my destiny when he crosses my path and sweeps me off my feet. i have made no pretenses. no false promises so my conscience is clear. amazing how much insight you can have when you dont allow sex to cloud your judgement!
pagan pride was AWESOME. didnt get to enjoy the workshops as my companion wasnt really digging it. finally got to meet a friend from myspace who lives the next town over from me. we had to leave the island to meet. funny but it was a great meeting. i felt totally at ease greeting him with a great big hug. it was like id met him before. got some really cool stuff there too. desmond is gonna flip when he sees his pet monster in a box named geroge.
got to see the film fest finally now that im not limping and my fav has to be "miscreant" by another myspace friend i finally got to meet named robert. the man is gifted. hes quite the poet too by the way.
the day out in the fresh open air and sunshine as well as absorbing all sorts of positive vibes from everyone at ppd enabled me to wash away all the mental sludge from this past week. sometimes being empathic has its advantages.
getting my money finally didnt hurt either. :)
well i am at work and i have 7 hrs til freedom where i will get to enjoy timewith my favorite guy and also time out wiht my betch. i am treating her broke ass whether she likes it or not. i know shed to the same for me. we need to catch up after all.
everyone have a great night.
love and light,
ventura
8:45 PM -